As we study his writings, we find that Paul did not view himself as a "super-Christian". In fact, his view of himself diminished throughout his ministry to the point that he says in Eph. 3:8, "I am the very least of all the saints...." It seems that as he grew in his walk with God, he realized more and more how big the gap was between who he was and who God is.
This past year and a half of traveling on the team has given me a much better view of that gap in my own life. When I started, I was quickly confronted with areas of selfishness that I didn't even know I had, and there was nowhere to hide! I found out that it's impossible to cover up your imperfections when you spend as much time together as our team does. But the encouraging thing is that I've been surrounded by a group of people who are pushing me to grow as they strive for growth in their own lives.
Since I began traveling I've become much more aware of how my own selfishness and desire for glory show up in my life, and I've learned that I can't ignore it. I've also learned that I must be willing to stay under the heat - the pressures of life that God is using to push me out of my comfort zone. One specific way God is growing me in that is through striving to truly love others - not looking for what I can get, but for what I can give. That's hard! Finally, I've realized how special it is to have true friends in ministry. I'm thankful for the opportunity to work with Seth, Bree, Ardis, Brad, and Becca. I'm especially thankful for the Coffey's investment in my life. Aaron has shown me what it means to disciple others to be more like Christ. It starts by example.
My goal is to take what I've learned and apply it as I leave this team and get involved in a ministry in Colorado. New challenges will come, but I feel much more prepared after traveling on the road. I'm thankful for what God has done in my life through the Aaron and Steph, and I'm excited to see what He's going to do as we continue to seek Him.
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