1 John 4:19 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
I hate getting scared or being afraid of something. But this semester, God has really shown me that I have a huge problem: fear. I was encouraged to write them all down and was blown away by how much I actually fear. I am afraid of what people think of me. I am afraid of messing up or doing the wrong thing. I am afraid of not being spiritual. There are so many other things I wrote down, and it’s gross sin that God is revealing. But I think the worst thing I’m afraid of is that God won’t love me if I mess up. Sure, I know the fact that God’s love is unconditional - He loves me just because He loves me, not based on anything I do. But somehow I have a hard time truly believing that God loves me just because He loves me because He loves me. And He loves me just as much on my “good days” as He does on my “bad days”. His love is not based on my behavior; it’s based on my identity in Christ: I am His child!
Understanding and claiming God’s love in this way has completely changed my life. First John 4 says that fear and love are complete opposites from each other. When the love of Jesus is a reality I claim in my life, it is impossible for me to live in fear of God and others.
Just because I’m writing this and have recognized my fear doesn’t mean that it’s gone now. No. It’s still a daily (sometimes minute-by-minute) struggle for me. I am engaged in a war against sin, but God is fighting with me and for me. And in the end, I know that Jesus wins. I don’t have to live in fear, because my life is found in Jesus and His love for me.