It has been a prayer of mine that God would help me to love better and deeper than I’ve loved before. And He has answered that prayer, but not in the way I had expected. I had anticipated being shown new ways to love, learning more about the people around me so I could serve them better, and for God to give me wisdom in knowing how to become closer with the people that God has placed in my life. However, instead of God predominately showing me “new heights” of how to love people, He has shown me how insufficient and conditional my love for others truly is. I can be so blind to my own selfishness, so much so that even the kind and thoughtful acts I do can have tainted motives. I have so many idols that I constantly worship without even realizing it. When I look at my life and mirror it with the love of Jesus, I don’t even come close. Jesus loves unconditionally, eternally, and perfectly. The more I look at the character of Jesus, the more my sin is fully displayed.

​​While that can be discouraging and disheartening, there is also great encouragement and joy in knowing that truth. Despite my sinfulness and inadequacy to love people as I should, God is committed to chipping slowly away at me until I look like His Son. If there is one thing that team has taught me, it’s this: God is so much greater than I am in every conceivable way, and yet He is faithful to use a broken vessel like me for the good of other people and His glory. So, I let Him chip away at me through heartaches, trials, and mistakes, knowing that the image God is turning me into is far greater than anything I could possibly dream or think of. Praise God for the work He does in the life of His people!

When we arrived at the church, we discovered our cargo trailer was stolen. At first, I thought it was a cruel joke someone was trying to play on the team. We soon discovered this was our new reality. Initially, my reaction was, “God, why would you allow this to happen? You know our ministry and how vital that trailer is to us.”
 
But throughout that week, despite the frustrations of our new reality, God was working in each of our hearts to show us how He can provide beyond our abilities to do so. I remember praying with Liam Coffey that week and he said “God, we know you’re good to us, even though it doesn’t always feel that way.” I think that prayer summed up how most of us were feeling that week.