Traveling this semester has emphasized in my life that I need God completely for strength and tenderness and humility to serve other people and to not serve myself. Specifically these past weeks, God has pounded into me that I am not just doing my job here on team. I am fighting a spiritual battle…one I am completely equipped for but very often do not take seriously. Through the Word, prayer and dependence, God has promised that we are fully ready to fight this battle. However, I am content to do only what is required of me with a “bare-minimum” mindset.
This semester, we have been reading a book about how we are all searching, working, conniving and struggling for glory for ourselves. We have a God given desire to be accepted but instead of looking for this acceptance through the person of Christ to be washed from our sins and be content with His acceptance of us, we look to other broken people to fulfill this desire within us. This leaves us desperate and drained because our plan never works.
By His grace, He does not let my heart motivations go untouched. God is shining His light into every aspect of my life – traveling, relationships and loves. First John repeats over and over that God is love and if you do not love, you are not of the Father. Is my motivation love? Or am I pushing my own reputation as a spiritual person, hoping that others will see my “service” and praise me for it? So often on team I have found that my motivation for service is not love for others but is actually how others view me or what I can get from someone. I am using my service as a tool to bring glory to myself. If I am a true follower of Christ, my position and reputation are irrelevant. I must love because God is love, and I am of God.
I need the constant reminder that…
I am bought with a price—Jesus’ blood.
I am forgiven and loved.
Therefore I can serve God and the people around me out of joy, not obligation.